small minded-ness

It’s funny really, how some people can be so small minded. in my short time on this planet I have come across a number of small mind people. although I know myself to be small in stature, I don’t think myself small in mind at all.

 

Yes I have opinions, sometimes good, sometimes not so good, but I am generally open to the thoughts, feelings and opinions of others. my mother might disagree with you, but hay, most mothers probably feel the same about their children.

 

Admittedly, I don’t like being told what to do, but hay who does? I do like asking for help though – Miss Niss, my matric science teacher, or Mr Channing, the best maths teacher ever ( RIP Mr Chan, I still think of you often) would assure you of that.

 

During matric I think I spent nearly every break in either the maths or science classroom with Mr Chan or Miss Niss picking their brains on problems I was unable to grasp. Day after day I’d mark off pages or specific questions in my study guides where I was unable to solve a particular conundrum and beg them to give up their break times to help me.

 

I was never naturally clever, but I worked extremely hard. All the work paid off when I matriculated with A’s for everything barring French which was extremely difficult, and Afrikaans because, well, it’s Afrikaans! Much to my accounting teachers dismay I got an A for accounting. This is a funny story – fellow Springfield 2005 Matrics will recall the feud between Miss Guil and me.

 

Some people you just don’t get along with. And never will. Miss Guil and I had such a relationship. from the first day I walked into her class she didn’t like me. I had done nothing wrong but she had it out for me from that very first accounting lesson. She proceeded to tell me that I should just give up accounting because I was no good at it. From that moment on I made a promise to myself that I would prove her wrong – and so I did. I worked my ass off and eventually matriculated as one of the top in her accounting class. She never said well done.

 

But that’s ok – I know I proved her wrong, and deep down I did it for myself, although it did give me a bit of an ego boost.

 

It’s strange – we come across people in life that we just don’t like, and who just don’t like us, for no particular reason. I’ve experienced it a few times in my few years so far. People have said to me it might be because I am intimidating. I just laugh them off. Really? A not even 5 foot tiny little girl intimidating?

 

AHA – but what did I start off with –  I may be small but not small minded. so maybe it’s my mind that they are intimidated by?

 

I have always been one to excel at whatever I put my mind to. I am easily demotivated though, which can be a problem, but luckily I have quite strong willpower and am able to persuade myself to push through.

 

Whether it is pushing through the last 500m on the treadmill, burning the midnight oil to reach that A, or working my butt off to get the job I want, I’ve always had that ‘go-getter’ kind of attitude. or so I’ve been told.

 

I think I thrive on a bit of pressure, and a lot of passion. I miss the days of pushing myself as much as I could. rushing from collage to work at 1pm. working till 7pm then studying till 2am. dashing from collage to work, from work to Claremont for a night out and then home only to hit the books. some may think me crazy, I just call it ambition.

 

But I suppose, being quite driven and motivated I can see how small minded people might see this intimidating. I think I do have a tendency of liking to do things my way – always have, since I was a toddler, but I get things done and I get them done well, so I don’t see a problem in that. I tend to slip up when I feel threatened, or my confidence is diminished – I then start to doubt myself, and that’s when mistakes happen. a fault I need to focus on fixing.

 

I’m by no means perfect – but who is? I think I have mild OCD (or quite severe if you ask Jamie), my spelling is atrocious (I owe a lot to Microsoft for inventing spell check), I get very grumpy, but in general I don’t think I am a bad or horrible person. I’ll be the first one to offer to help – whether it’s my obligation or not. Deep down I’m a softy – extremely sensitive but I hide that under quite a tough exterior.  Dynamite does come in small packages after all.

 

I do agree that having being brought up in quite a sheltered southern suburbs way of life  has restricted my outlook on the world to some degree, but I’m open to explore and learn, and often to be proven wrong.

 

So to all the small minded people who struggle to look past first impressions, or brief encounters I pity you. My new outlook is to try and look past the restrictive parameters we’ve set around our thoughts and perceptions and try and explore the greater unknown.

 

But that’s just my opinion . You’re free to have your own.

 

 

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